Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
