that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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