We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
