All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
How many fucks given?
0.12846
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Congratulations! We have a period
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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