You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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