Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
