I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
