there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
