My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
