sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
