where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
