White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
