i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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