I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
