i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
