He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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