Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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