That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just had sex bonerless
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
