he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
