Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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