I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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