I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
