we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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