Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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