I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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