There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
