So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
