Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
