I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
