Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
