Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
