Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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