she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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