i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
