By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
