This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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