Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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