so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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