Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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