totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
