My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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