The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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