nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
