I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
