Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
