In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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