What a fucking waste of an outfit
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
