I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
