How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
BRING THE BAGELS
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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