I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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