just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
