Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
