Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
