she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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